This is my Girfriend Sam!

I stare at her a lot.

..Even though she has a little PROBLEM with catnip...

Anyway, being a Tuxedo Cat, I was interested in my lineage, and saw someplace on the Web that said the first cat in North America was a tuxedo named "Asgard" who was brought by the Vikings.

So I sat in front of a mirror, gazed into my golden eyes, and asked the Feline Collective Unconcious about it....As I suspected, it was a hoax.

The first Tuxedo Cat in North America was IGUARD THE PINK.

He has been blamed for bringing LUTFISK to North America.

(Apologies to Auntie Murphy, the Norwegian Forest Cat! I love fish, but HOW can you!

I suppose it was fish once.)

I put up with a lot around here. They tried putting a DOG harness on me. WHY???

Well, it beats the alternatives I suppose.

Next Page: The Great Bow Tie Experiment.